By now, I hope most of you just finished watching one of the most compelling shows on television, “Lost”. If you’re like some of the Fifth Feather staff, the only thing you watch during the week are old reruns of “Friends” and the Game Show Network. Fortunately for you, it’s not his turn to write tonight. While I watched tonight’s episode, I couldn’t help but see the similarities (real or imagined, but mostly imagined) between characters from the show and members of the beloved.
We’ll start at the top…
John Locke=Joel Quenneville– One man has an amazing mustache, the other has an amazing set of man boobs. These two men aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty and both lead with a heavy dose of faith. Locke has faith in the island; Quenneville shows extreme faith in his assistant coaches. Notice many times during stoppages of play, it will be assistant coaches Mike Haviland and John Torchetti doing most of the instructing while Q observes and strokes his mustache. Quenneville proved he was the ‘Hawks rightful leader when he took over the Blackhawks only four games into the season after Denis Savard got voted off the island. All he’s done in that time is go 31-13-7. Not to mention, he’s turned the power play into one of the league’s best after being one of the worst last year.
Jack Shephard=Jonathan Toews– If Toews is Captain Serious, then Shephard is Doctor Serious. In the show’s five year run thus far, he has probably smiled a total of six times. When Jack got to the island, he was the reluctant leader of the survivors. Everyone looked to him for guidance and support. Toews got off to a slow start this year by not scoring his first goal until the 13th game of the season. It has been discussed ad nauseum that he was feeling too much pressure early in the year to lead the ‘Hawks because he was named team captain at the ripe age of 20. Things have turned around mightily for Toews as he now has 20 goals to go with 26 assists.
Sawyer=Cristobal Huet– Everyone needs a bad guy or in some people’s case, a bad goalie. Someone they can blame all their shortcomings on. When the show first started, Sawyer was blamed for nearly everything that was happening. Someone stole pills, blame Sawyer. Who’s hoarding all the water? Must be Sawyer. Even though his character has transformed since the beginning by becoming three dimensional, people still don’t know what exactly to expect from. After all, he is a con man. Cristobal Huet shared a similar fate when he first came to the ‘Hawks. After having a couple of shaky starts at the beginning of the season and laying an egg at the Winter Classic, some ‘Hawk fans refuse to think he’s a good goalie. All he’s done this year is compile a 2.37 goals against average with a 91% save percentage. Not too shabby for a guy who drives some fans absolutely batty.
Kate=Brian Campbell– In a one year span, Brian Campbell has worn three different sweaters. He started off last year in Buffalo, got traded to San Jose at the trade deadline, and then signed with the ‘Hawks this summer to a 7 year, 56 million dollar contract. Kate can’t stand the thought of being in one place for too long. Perhaps, it’s the fact she’s a former fugitive who was constantly on the run. Bottom line here, if we ever see Brian Campbell sharing a hotel room with Huet or Toews, get very, very nervous.
Desmond=Patrick Kane– Both disappear for stretches but when they’re on, they’re incredible to watch. Desmond is arguably the best character on the show and Kane is arguably the best player on the team. When Faraday described Desmond by saying ‘the rules don’t apply to him’ in this year’s season premiere, he may as well have been talking about Kane. There is no ceiling for Patrick Kane. He can be as good as he wants to be. This whole off-season he spent working on his shot and boy, could you tell the difference. For me, the goal that sticks out the most and where I could see the dramatic change was in Calgary on December 19th when he took the puck at the top of the circle, and rifled it right over Kipprusoff’s shoulder.
Ben= Bill Wirtz– Since Ben’s little bug eyes first appeared on the show, he has probably told a grand total of 31,321 lies. Whether he was claiming he was someone else for half of season two or killing off all the people living in the DHARMA Intiative, Ben always seems to have his own agenda. He is also an incredible manipulator who seems to constantly get what he wants. No one reading this needs any reminder of what life was like under Bill Wirtz, but let me just say the parallel between Ben gassing his own father to death and Wirtz nearly sucking out the lifeblood of a proud fanbase is downright frightening.
Sayid=Blackhawk Fans– Sayid is a former member of the Iraqi Republican Guard who is an incredibly skeptical person and will resort to torture tactics to hear what he needs to. Blackhawk fans are forever skeptical and will torture themselves constantly by pinning their hopes on a team that hasn’t won in ages. Sayid’s preferred torture method: bamboo shoots up the fingernails. Blackhawk fans preferred torture method: Having to watch old clips of Lyle Odelein and Boris Mironov as a defensive tandem.
Hurley=Adam Burish– Neither does much, but everyone seems to love them regardless. Ok, I take that back. Hurley got an old van to work and lifted up the spirits of the camp. Burish has provided a much needed spark since returning from a foot injury on January 4th and even added a few timely goals. Not bad for a former 9th round draft pick and 282nd player taken overall.