And You Want To Be My Latex Salesman

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the man dubbed by some during the summer as the grizzled mentor the young Blackhawks need.  If you haven’t heard by now, Chris Chelios was arrested during the early morning hours of December 28th in Westmont at the intersection of Blackhawk Drive (I wish I could make this stuff up) and Ogden.  

A quick background on this: 

The Wolves had an afternoon game on the 27th.  The reason Chelios was out in the western suburbs is because he’s living at his parents’ house during his current stint with the Wolves.  Now, there’s nothing strange about a single Greek man in his 40’s living with his parents but when that same guy has earned (at the least) a six-figure salary for the past 20 years, it is a tad obtuse.  

Anyways, back to my point.  This is the exact reason why the Hawks and Chelios were never a good fit and why it was so humorous to hear certain media types clamor for the reunion.  There have been rumors of Chelios’ late night *ahem* habits going back for some time now. 

To think he would be this saintly influence over the youthful Hawks locker room is either rosy optimism or bat-shit insanity.  Plus, he can’t play at a high level anymore.  So what you’re left with is an old man who can’t really play and enjoys the nightlife just as much as a 22 year-old.  Sounds like the perfect mentor for a young and impressionable team. 

And I’m not even getting into the posse that follows him.  The Hawks would need to have a ‘Kerry Wood Heritage Night’ just so he could come into the locker room and bash in the team stereo with a hockey stick to exorcise those demons. 

Say Vandelay Industries! Say Vandelay Industries!!!

–Chelios wasn’t the only ex-Hawk making news the past couple days.  Jeremy Roenick was interviewed by AM640 in Toronto on Tuesday and blasted (well, blasted in contrast to the way others have been so accepting) Team USA for selecting Chris Drury.  You won’t find any argument here.  

Roenick thinks T.J. Oshie, Mike Modano, or Scott Gomez would have all been better selections.  Thank you, JR, for shouting what we’ve said since New Year’s Day.  Ok, hold on while I wipe the tears from my eyes. 

That’s what makes the Drury addition because of his ‘experience’ so bizarre.  Here’s Mike Modano, a guy who’s identified with Team USA probably more so than any other player.  He can still play in all situations, he can play on any of the bottom three lines, and he’s an actual leader.  Drury hasn’t been a leader since he struck out a bunch of 11 year-old Japanese kids.

And yes, I’m still bitter about this.

–Pretty interesting answer from John Buccigross’s latest mailbag (emphasis obviously mine):

Duncan Keith is the Norris Trophy leader in the clubhouse right now. He has offensive flair and a Scott Niedermayer skating ability that helps the Blackhawks dominate the pace of a game. After Keith, the field is wide open with some new names — Dan Boyle, Drew Doughty, Brian Campbell and Mike Green.

Considering this is coming from the same guy who thought Steven Stamkos would make Team Canada, I wouldn’t advise Campbell to clear space on his trophy shelf.  Still, you can’t disagree with him being one of the candidates.  BOOOO!!!!!   

*On the Farm*

The IceHogs and Toronto Marlies had a wild one on Wednesday night.  Rockford scored the lone goal in the opening frame when Kyle Greentree scored his 11th goal of the season.  Bracken Kearns and Brian Connelly had the assists. 

Newly signed Kyle Calder tied the game for the Marlies in the final minute of the second period.  Then, in the first minute of the third, Toronto grabbed a 2-1 lead. 

Greentree scored his second goal of the game two minutes later on the power play to tie the game.  He was helped by Mark Cullen and Kearns.  Matt Keith scored to give Rockford a 3-2 lead almost halfway through the third and the lead looked it was going to stand.

The Marlies, though, tied the game with less than five minutes left to force overtime. 

The game looked like it was heading to a shootout but with one second remaining, Jake Dowell scored his second goal in three games (until then, his last goal came in October) and the IceHogs snagged the extra point.  Kearns notched his third assist of the game and Richard Petiot got the second helper.

Joseph Fallon stopped 17 of the 20 shots he faced.

–Shawn Lalonde had an assist in Belleville’s 5-4 shootout loss to the Oshawa Generals.

Byron Froese scored a short-handed goal in a 6-2 win over the Kelowna Rockets.

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14 Responses to And You Want To Be My Latex Salesman

  1. JAF says:

    Great blog. Well said!!!

    roenick was right on the money !!

    Funny comments on chris drury!! So true

    I am sure chelios really was shacking up with some college coed and said this parents

  2. Dave Morris says:

    Wait a minute…you mean to say Chelios and Kovalchuk won’t be Hawks in time for the playoffs?

    What’s this world coming to?

  3. CT says:

    “certain media types” – Heh.

    “And I’m not even getting into the posse that follows him.” – Now THIS I want to hear.

  4. Otter says:

    Drury stuck out kids form Taiwan… so that makes them Chinese or Taiwanese or something like that. They spoke Chinese though, I know that much. Anyway, I think Akim Aliu was on that Taiwan team since he has, apparently, lived every where in the world.

  5. Wanker751 says:

    While I do not think Chelios should be on the Hawks due to the fact he can’t play at this level….

    But his personality wouldn’t matter if he could if this were 10 or so years ago and he was able to be on the Hawks no one would say boo if he’d help win the Cup…… any one want to get kid of Pat Kane who’s too punchy cabbie in the face? No because he can play.

  6. Mack says:

    Chelios has been married for twenty years and has four kids.

  7. Patrick says:

    Good points, as always. You guys see the forest when most of us just see the trees.

    I think that this is the team the Hawks have to go into the “final battle” with – and I would be good with that. Let the chips fall where they may in the summer.

  8. John says:

    Sorry Mack, I should’ve put single in quotation marks.

  9. John says:

    Wanker–Of course it wouldn’t matter if it were ten years ago, but it’s not. And the fact that he’s a bigger tool than the media leads on and he’s not good anymore should’ve been more than enough of a reason for people not to think for a second he’d be a good fit on this team.

    But hey, he was good ten years ago and he was captain then too. Why not take a chance now.

  10. ZLionHawk says:

    When did we sign Kyle Calder?

  11. John says:

    By we I assume you mean the Hawks. They didn’t. I wrote, “Newly signed Kyle Calder tied the game for the Marlies”.

  12. Dave Morris says:

    Has StanBow traded for Steve Ott yet?

  13. Lou says:

    no Dave, he is looking for Greg Fox and Behn wilson

  14. wanker751 says:

    John – I don’t think he is as nice as the media portrays him either… but I don’t think he is much of a dick as some people think too. He does a lot for Mt. Carmel H.S. After the W.C last year he gave a ton of sticks away to fans and does sign autographs for kids. I’ve personally seen this at Wolves games.

    As for his play this year I am a Wolves STH. And while the DUI issue is disappointing, he has been nothing but spectacular for them. His plus minus is great and he has been good at moving the puck up the ice in transition. His scoring numbers are a lot higher than I thought it would be. He has been playing really well and probably is one of their best d-men. Also the D has been better since he got here.. while I think most of that is the coaching change… he hasn’t hurt. He is always talking to players and “coaching” on the ice.

    That being said none of this really translates to the NHL game….and the Hawks D core is really good… (stating this to people here is stupid and I don’t mean to insult anyone’s hockey IQ)

    The only situation I can see them bringing him in is if Barker and Sopel get moved… or if they are decimated by injuries. (got dizzy typing that last one) While I like the guy… he’s not someone who at this point would help on the ice…. the off ice stuff really wouldn’t matter to me…nor really to the team IF he was helping them win(remember the cries and that one moron “no Wiz no wins?)

    I think it was Jimmy Piersall that said “Winning is what makes good chemistry”

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